@kendracomedy: Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper "I'm seeing someone"
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@SnizzleFrizzle: My kids are 23 and 13 and they still argue about who is my favorite. Warms my heart. Too bad it's neither of them.
@SadMeterologist: -I heard this dog was chipped. -Microchipped sir. -I don't care how small the chip is, I'm not paying full price.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in..