@kendracomedy: Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper "I'm seeing someone"
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@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@thatstings: Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to charger to charger to charger
@lynyrdsbackyard: Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus.
@1Happytwit: There's a cat curled up on my pillow, and I'd probably be a lot more cool with that if I actually owned a cat.