@OfficeofSteve: Whenever the wife asks what I'm eating. I chew faster like a dog and refuse to open my mouth
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.
@DanMentos: "We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision" Which was? "We ate Bill" OMG. How long were you in there? “4 minutes"