@KKAlThani: Whenever you feel depressed, imagine someone tickling Kristen Stewart.
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@nopoweradeinusa: parties in 2004: I hope I don't get drunk and tell mindy I like her parties in 2017: I hope this beer company doesn't support genocide
@Girliegurll: I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now.
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.