@KKAlThani: Whenever you feel depressed, imagine someone tickling Kristen Stewart.
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@XplodingUnicorn: *quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*
@WeissBrandon: Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze
@ddsmidt: My mother-in-law said "just do what you normally do" when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward.
@stanleybehrman: Sorry I called you stupid. It was insensitive and heartless of me. I just assumed that you knew.