@NervousJr: Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise.
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@KrissiBex: My family said if I don’t get a Facebook, they’d all get a Twitter I sacrificed myself for all of twitter kind I’m the Jesus of social media
@Coolisiana: (Job interview) "How would you describe yourself?" I'm very vague "Ok, can you be more specific?" No
@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.