@Manda_like_wine: Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.
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@AimeeHelene1: Me: I just want to be the hat girl at the gym. Them: You mean hot girl? Me: *on treadmill* *wearing a ski mask, beret, and cowboy hat* No.
@GrantTanaka: "Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I'M ASKING THEM"