@jwoodham: Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBeerGuy73: *smokes fat doobie* *enters hotdog eating contest* *sets Guinness World Record* *gets disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs*
@ojedge: [1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: "Thank you but I'm not cold" Me: [covering her awful dress] "Yes you are"
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@JessObsess: I may make a lot of typos when I text, but in my defense, I do have to look at the road sometimes.