@TheDairylandDon: Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much...
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@thtchicmichelle: Sent this guy 27 texts in the last hour and haven't heard back so I guess I should probably drive over to his house and make sure he's okay.
@Tups13: The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. "Look guys," I explain. "When I said I had a pot belly..."