@TheDairylandDon: Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much...
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@jonnysun: [god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok… GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me
@NikiWithIssues: If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I'm sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me.
@Kyle_Lippert: A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond "Could this night get any worse?" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth
@mrbuster60: "My uncle is a dead person guy". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician