@jwoodham: Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Most homophobes are secretly gay. However, most arachnophobes are not secretly spiders.
@imadepoopstoday: Your water broke? Do I look like an idiot? You can't "break" water...get back to work.
@LoveNLunchmeat: The beginning is all romance & flowers, but after about 10 yrs it's mostly just checking each other's backs for suspicious moles.
@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.