@duplicitron: Where do I see myself in ten years? I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*
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@GoodZiIIa: [after getting pulled over] cop: are you registered me: i don't vote cop: i meant the car me: no it doesn't vote either
@joshgondelman: Accidentally opened Excel. Decided to roll with it and get my life together. See you all never.
@HeyZeus666: Sorry I said your baby looks like the anti-Christ. I meant to say she looks like her mother.