@duplicitron: Where do I see myself in ten years? I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*
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@Brampersandon_: [quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*
@Up2Long: Didn't want cats ... had 2 cats. Didn't want marriage ... got married 2 times. Ok Karma ... I'm on to you. I don't want a million dollars
@capricecrane: Accidentally walked into the men's room so I just went ahead and used the urinal so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone.
@FunkyFresh_79: [on a first date] Ok, don't let her know you're really a squirrel... Her: I had a great time, good night! Me: *runs in front of her car