@Home_Halfway: Where do they bury the bodies of the families that lose at Family Feud
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@Mr_Kapowski: I’d assume that the best part of working in Alaska is that after your commute into work, you get to bring your 9 Huskies into the office with you
@OfficialMizGin: There’s nothing more disappointing for a woman than finding out a bearded guy in a flannel shirt is a hipster and not a lumberjack.
@dubiousgenius: HER: Where have you been? ME: Watching a WWF fight. HER: You mean WWE? *flashback to panda fighting an emu* ME: Eh, yeah.
@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday