@Home_Halfway: Where do they bury the bodies of the families that lose at Family Feud
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@Snotgun: I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation.
@Darlainky: [at parent-teacher night] Teacher:*looking at my coffee tumbler* I see you're a coffee enthusiast, too Me: Coffee? Oh...yeah, coffee*wink*
@AndyAsAdjective: KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
@13spencer: Experimental Music sounds like a cool idea until you realize that the experiment is how bad something can be, and still be called music.