@joshcomers: "Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?" (Dalai Lama job interview)
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@Black__Elvis: For years I thought that my wife was repulsed by me but as it turns out she just doesn't put out on the first marriage.
@TheAlexNevil: *I gently close front door Dog: Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you! See that vomit on the floor? That's because of you!
@Poutymcgee: <-- Spends a good 10 minutes removing the stuffed animals from my bed before we get down to business. But Rupert stays, he likes to watch.
@SortaBad: Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? "I'm not. that. innocent." *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*