@o__0Dev: Where have you been all my life? Please go back there.
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@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.
@novicefather: I found three french fries inside my $1 McDouble. Dream big, kids. Anything is possible.