@BruceForce: Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships
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@xLiserx: I sexually identify as a microwave dinner because I’m ready in 5 minutes but don’t look anything like my photos.
@vvolfsz: The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road
@pbear79: A woman with questionable hygiene, no teeth, and an eye patch asked me if I was looking for a date.. Long story short, picking her up at 7.