@robfee: Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.
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@FullGrownChris: "Where are you all going?" A lifeboat. The Titanic is sinking. "You guys are booked til 2. Trust me, this'll be great exposure for your band
@SaxMouse: When you get to jail, challenge the biggest, baddest guy in there to rock, paper, scissors in front of all his friends
@therealeatwood: Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
@daimonic0: If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too.