@WilliamRodgers: Where were these Terrorists when Seth Rogen did the Green Hornet?!?!?
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@DaddyBeerGuy: Boss-You're Always the first one here! Me-Hey,*early bird gets the worm, right? *gets to poop or drink coffee without 3yr old interrupting
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.
@sageboggs: Listen up, guys Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose