@goldengateblond: LIFE HACK: Make your waist feel dramatically smaller by accidentally trying on maternity pants.

@PearlsFromMyrna: I have decided to take a martial arts class to deal with the mall’s aggressive kiosk people.

@markydoodoo: Go suck an egg. Lick a mango. Breathe on an avocado. Make everyone at the grocery store uncomfortable.

@818Newbie: NyQuil the daytime drive your car into a ditch cold medicine.

@smithsara79: *4-yr old niece tells me about trip to Empire State Building Her: It's so tall, I almost touched the moon! Me: Oh you are so full of shit!