@Heaterhotusus: Pretty sure these are the same ingredients in my shampoo. -me, reading the Pringles can.

@Marlebean: I'll photoshop my youngest into old pics just to make him stop crying about not being a part of the family before he was born.

@WheelTod: Do you realize that if real women had the same proportions as Barbie they'd be only 11.5 inches tall?

@generaldietz: Me: I save a bunch of time by not having to tie my shoes. Her: What do you do with the time saved? Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what?

@dance_blessed: Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have so many cousins today.