@BonaFideIntent: Where's the gratification in tearing down another human being? It's much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS.
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@Sassafrantz: [texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident.
@LuvPug: I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity.
@simoncholland: My wife didn't post an essay thanking our kids for making her a mom on Facebook and now child services is on the way.
@BoobsRadley: Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body