@RumAndReeses: Whew, good thing there's a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble.
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@KyleMcDowell86: It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine
@KalvinMacleod: BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*
@PHDaniel_Street: Tomorrow...trade cell phones with your significant other for the day...see how many of you are single by the end of the day...
@birbigs: At jury duty they said, "You do not have to be fluent in English." So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent.