@TheSofiya: which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills
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@ClichedOut: Interviewer: How did you hear about the position? Me: *sweating profusely* W-with my ears.
@EndhooS: [Calls boss] I'm gonna be late... "How late?" *Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...
@GlennyRodge: COMPUTER: Enter password ME: [types '14days'] COMPUTER: Your password is two week ME: Uh? COMPUTER: Computer do joke. Computer funny.