@AndyAsAdjective: Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Her: How do you do it w/ 4 kids? Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.
@PaperWash: I'v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He's gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I'm showing these emails to his wife.
@Rollmaninoz: *school reunion* Guy: Reporter is cool I spose. I became a doctor so I could actually help people ya know Clark Kent: *fist clenched* mmm hm
@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.