@omgthatspunny: Which US state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda
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@jordan_stratton: I wonder what song the Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make a bikini top?
@AnitaHelmet: You can tell a lot about a person by their avi. For instance if they use an egg, they're probably a chicken.
@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.
@david8hughes: Interviewer: says here you have a military background Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti