@omgthatspunny: Which US state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda
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@jharden21: teacher: i'm considering moving the test to next week. you guys down with that? me (too loud): down like the dog at the end of marley & me!
@comer310: Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook.
@withanewname: Friend: Bro, those were sick fireworks! Sorry about your eye, but I think the ER may be busy. Me: No worries, my wife made reservations.