@julie2288: Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee

@ericsshadow: "Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."

@MrNickNo: That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".

@Cheese_Pile: *Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* "Here let me get that" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*

@VodkaThursday: My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit