@MouthOfSass: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that.
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@MattShiney: "The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers
@ItsAndyRyan: "Whats your biggest weakness?" "I'm bad at taking compliments" "Actually that's quite endearing" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*
@ddsmidt: You would think my neighbors would appreciate me petting their dogs every day. But nooooo, they’re too worried about how I keep getting into their house.