@MouthOfSass: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that.
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@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters
@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer
@TheSnideOne: Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans.
@david8hughes: [son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's that Son: it's our house Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn't?