@WilliamAder: While I fully intended to "sleep my way to the top," it appears I've napped my way to the middle.
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@onion_an: [coming home from cinema] Don't let that ninja film go to your head again. *roundhouse kicks the light switch on* "I won't"
@bobvulfov: FBI AGENT: [lifting crime scene tape and walking in] dale howard, fbi ME: [following him] bob vulfov, looking for a bathroom
@ProBirdRights: I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it.