@WilliamAder: While I fully intended to "sleep my way to the top," it appears I've napped my way to the middle.
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@bergified: Send me your home address and I'll mail you a personal drawing of your favorite animal as long as its a buffalo.
@therealeatwood: [I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do
@markleggett: Today I fell asleep for twenty minutes during a thirty minute car ride, which was strange because I was driving.
@GashleyMadison: It's like my nana always said, "If you choose your friends wisely, you'll never have good drugs."