@OhNoSheTwitnt: While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread? The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@highwaytohelv: why yes i studied sports medicine at the university of phoenix. *puts stethoscope on basketball, nods*
@TheDreamGhoul: saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming