@OhNoSheTwitnt: While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin.
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@GrantTanaka: they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had
@yaboybillnye: WTF VAMPIRE BATS WILL VOMIT BLOOD INTO MOUTHS OF SICK BATS 2 KEEP THEM ALIVE THATS DOPE AF & STILL A BETTER LOVESTORY THAN TWILIGHT
@envydatropic: I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind
@Angibangie: -If I'm wearing matching bra and undies, I better get more than a cuddle. McDonald's worker: Another bad date huh? Have some free fries...