@samalmightysam: While you're thinking what to wear, I'm thinking how to take it off.
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@BoutCrazed: Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some.
@QwertyJones3: Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I'll have to turn to Facebook.
@1Happytwit: Cats don't come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can't put them in the washing machine.
@Lexi__Alexandra: "Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. "I don't work here" I yelled back.