@samalmightysam: While you're thinking what to wear, I'm thinking how to take it off.
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@panmidwest: [waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]
@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*
@Its_Miss_Riss: Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel.
@cwhudson: [dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there