@JermHimselfish: Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do.
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@Just_A_Guy72: NPR is reporting terrorists are using twitter. I call bullshit. After logging on, most of us aren't motivated enough to get dressed
@trevso_electric: Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying.
@jergarl: My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch.