@JoePerticone: *whispers* hail hydra
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@TheWadest: Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.
@Ham_Tornado: New children's book I'm working on: "Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak".
@JediGigi: I've been ill with night terrors, nausea, dizziness, hunger pains, cry fits, and a stutter. According to Web MD, I have a date tonight.