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@Matt_The_1st: *Whispers in random chicks ear
"I have pizza in the van"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep." -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow
@Skullcat: Actually, I'd rather you shut your talk-hole, not your pie-hole. If you have a hole that gives pie, I'm going in there, because HELLO PIE.
@haleysfalling: bought candy at the movies and suddenly i can't pay this months rent anymore
@djdarrellripley: Him: You're a DJ? I'm not one for dancing. I've got this leg, you see? I've had it since the war.
Me: How long have you had the other one?
@Fred_Delicious: [On date]
Her - "so your profile said you like classical music? I love Mozart & Bach, how about you?"
Me - "Jurassic Park theme"