@CornOnTheGoblin: [whispers to you at my own funeral] ok don't freak out
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@davedittell: hey atheists: if God isn't real then who did I just give my credit card information to over the phone?
@einsteinsexual: You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup.
@skele_tim: CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out