@DaddyJew: *whispers "we should run away together" while petting the neighbor's dog*
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@Home_Halfway: "Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be." ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *pretending to be a T-rex* I'm going to eat you. 7-year-old: You can't. It's Lent.
@velvettusk: "Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too.
@TuSoonShakur: [At the Amnesty International Open Summit] "OK, let's put it to a vote, what rights should humans be entitled to?" Kim Jong-un: "No rights." Raúl Castro: "Some rights." Matthew McConaughey: "All rights, all rights, all rights."