@DaddyJew: *whispers "we should run away together" while petting the neighbor's dog*
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@brennadine: "How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars," I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead
@agathagotstoned: Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives.
@jakob_huber: Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough