@DaddyJew: *whispers "we should run away together" while petting the neighbor's dog*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@: The kids I nanny asked why I wanted to see Incredibles 2 and I said because the first one came out when I was a kid and they really asked .... If it was in color
@Rich_McCarthy: Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs