@FemalePains: white boys be texting like... ????
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@NervousJr: Boss: "late again I see" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: "your moms late." Brain: wow....
@Tups13: The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. "Look guys," I explain. "When I said I had a pot belly..."
@dafloydsta: BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies"] I guess