@ItalianBratikus: White people dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist.
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@Fred_Delicious: "HONEY, ITS THE BANK. SOMEBODY USED YOUR CARD TO BUY A HUMAN HAMSTER WHEEL??" Me [from basement, out of breath] "what"
@KKAlThani: My biggest fear is laughing at a joke I didn't understand and someone asks me to explain it to them.
@kristynhearts: Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?
@oxygenplug: [at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here