@samfromks: White smoke from under my hood means either my starter went out or my car has elected a new Pope.
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@MadcapsTPS: They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour.
@DirtMcTurd: [watching Game of Thrones] last week was great, I paid attention to everything! TV: last week on GoT.. Me: when the hell did that happen?!
@Tmoney68: If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I'd go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes.