@pixelatedboat: Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@conanobrienswyf: How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
@asimplesean: I approach. "Girl are you a couch? Cuz I'm gonna try & fail to pick you up." She laughs. "I'm Jen." My training hasn't prepared me for this.
@Pro_Jones_: ME: *pointing gun* Give me everything. WORKER: Sir, this is a pet shelter. ME: I know. *carried off into the sunset by a wave of animals*
@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.