@pixelatedboat: Who are you going to trust, some real doctor who says it's impossible to make you a centaur, or me, the guy with a hacksaw and half a horse?
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@rose24_em: He whispered in my ear that he liked being called daddy. I whispered back that I liked being called a cab.
@jwoodham: American cheese is just regular cheese that's not afraid to fight for freedom! Also, it's fatter than the other cheeses. And more racist.
@envydatropic: You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector