@PleaseBeGneiss: Who called baby elephants calves and not inphants
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@leslid79: I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it.
@nbadag: [the noise of everyone talking at a party randomly goes silent] ME: i call hot dogs meat pickles
@FuckabillyRex: I gave my bus driver a copy of the play I wrote about a bus driver that falls in love with one of his passengers. And now we wait.