@markydoodoo: Who called it a one night stand and not a humpty dumpty?
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@thenatewolf: THE CHIEF: It was a mission, you weren't supposed to let it get personal. ME: [kissing a missile] We're getting married.
@withanewname: Friend: Bro, those were sick fireworks! Sorry about your eye, but I think the ER may be busy. Me: No worries, my wife made reservations.
@Nodine13: Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy.