@markydoodoo: Who called it a one night stand and not a humpty dumpty?
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@Brampersandon_: THE WEEKND: I can't feel my face when I'm with you DENTIST (injecting novocaine): that's kinda the point dude
@KentWGraham: It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
@WillHinsa: My new years resolution is to stop biting my toenails. Nervous habit I picked up during all these meetings at work.