@markydoodoo: Who called it a one night stand and not a humpty dumpty?
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@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@themorris23: To all the "cougars" out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves "Thundercats" shame. on. you.
@Cheeseboy22: When I was a kid, there were actually six oceans: The Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Antarctic, Arctic and Billy.