@abhorrent_wife: Facebook is down, so don't say prayer doesn't work.

@oldmanweldon: A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.

@10InchesPlus: Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I'd left open. Well played.

@XplodingUnicorn: When my Internet is down for more than 2 minutes, I assume Western civilization has collapsed so I start looting.

@bummyant: when you kill a whole pizza by yourself