@meganamram: Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies

@Boourns83: Turns out hanging out in sewers eating pizza and practicing karate will not make me an honorary ninja turtle.. Now I just smell like shit

@JllyJllyFish: Show someone you love them today by rearranging the apps on their phone.

@Sassafrantz: Me: [opens front facing camera at a funeral and starts crying] "he must've meant a lot to her."

@melibuff: Helping my daughter study for her geology exam, and apparently 'hard' 'classic' and 'punk' AREN'T the 3 different types of rock. Who knew.