@amethystxmatt: turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left

@Jenny4ashley: *goes down on one knee* One Knee: I have a girlfriend

@ClichedOut: [campfire] Me: (flashlight to face) "af" didn't exist. Millennials: (gasp) Me: We had to use "adverbs." (one faints)

@RxitWounds: *Power goes out* Wife: I can't see! *Shoes light up* Me: Ha! Whose shoes were "a waste of money" & "clearly meant for a large child" now?!

@rachelaxler: dough: a bread, an uncooked bread ray: of sun that cooks the bread me: a gal who eats the bread fa: ther also eats the bread so: da bread’s a kind of bread la: vash is another bread tea: a drink. anyway, bread! that will bring us back to dough