@papasuncle: Who called it Scientology and not Cruise control?
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@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.
@1followernodad: guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!
@weenbeans: will you marry me? "OMG YES! I love you!!!" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too
@iwearaonesie: 9: The remote isn't working me: Did you smack it? 9: Yep me: Did you push the button down really hard? 9: Yep me: Well I'm out of ideas