@papasuncle: Who called it Scientology and not Cruise control?
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@Merman_Melville: (Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT
@BruceForce: Why the hell do they call it fruit punch, like where do they get "punch" fr.. *gets knocked out by a grapefruit*
@TheTalkingPipe: The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments.