@chuuew: Who called it your foot falling asleep and not coma toes?
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@lindseyallen: Hate eating nachos with someone at the theater and our fingers touch. Especially if I don't know them, and they don't know we're sharing.
@Token_Geezer: Girl said she wanted to have my babies so I invited her over. But she didn’t look happy when I told her to put them to bed by 8 and went out
@steveolivas: I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.