@chuuew: Who called it your foot falling asleep and not coma toes?
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@shegotagronk: Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*
@Home_Halfway: ROOMMATE: Hank is coming by later ME: Cannibal Hank or Pastry-Loving Hank? [From outside] HEY ANYBODY WANNA EAT A DANISH ROOMMATE: Yeah I don't know man