@SteveSuckington: Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
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@WhirledRecord: USA: "Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?" Canada: "OK." *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*
@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.
@Brampersandon_: [office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?