@Jenny4ashley: Who cares if you break a damn mirror. If you think 7 years of bad luck is hell, try breaking a condom.
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@Parentpains: Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out.
@lisaxy424: "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon.
@ojedge: [feeding baby Malaysian food] "Here comes the plane" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*