@bourgeoisalien: Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage
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@trojansauce: ALFRED: *wringing out wet birthday party invitation* it's difficult to read, but i'd hazard a guess at aquaman, master wayne
@DurtMcHurtt: I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
@Mr_Kapowski: If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries.
@murrman5: can you start monday at 8? "yes, thank you for the opportunity" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? "am or pm?"