@bourgeoisalien: Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage
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@SortaBad: Me: hi :) Woman at bar: it's loud in here, I'm sorry, did you just say "colon closed parentheses" ???
@PaperWash: I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it.