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@joeyhuggles: I take all of my relationship advice from Animal Planet.
@DonKinderknecht: I put my baby on the baby changing station in the bathroom and when I was done, it was the same baby. :-(
@SteveSuckington: [Taken 26]
Abductor: I have your great granddaughter
LIAM NEESON: I literally died 12 years ago
@Jandalize: Forget Klondike, you should see what I'd do for an open bar.
@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.