@autocorrects: Who comes up with this kinda stuff
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@fraktal8: Since wine is made from grapes its technically accurate to say I did a fruit juice cleanse for New Years Eve.
@1Bad_Scientist: Her: Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom? Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.
@alexjmann: I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you.
@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.