@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.
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@TheLeslieMommy: Old lady across from me in ER waiting room just asked me, "So are you sick?" No, I'm just here for the free CNN.
@ericsshadow: If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now.
@Ideal_Victoria: Oh… Oh dear… it looks like my grandmother’s embroidered pillow may have stolen your tweet.
@iLikeCatShirts: Dads out on the dance floor just respecting the heck out of the fine craftsmanship of the wood and stain.