@MomOfTeen: Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
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@ZombieProblms: Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool.
@trentistweeting: WIFE: you're so overly dramatic ME: no i'm not [10 hired backup singers burst through the wall shouting "no he's not"] dammit guys, not now
@TheSofiya: Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT