@just1fool: Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?
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@doublewenis: *seductively feeding you chicken wings while you hit on a hot chick "I'm sorry, I really don't know what a wingman is supposed to do."
@abbycohenwl: Don't do anything rash - inept doctor trying to keep a skin eruption from spreading
@pantsfaced: In a recent sleep study performed by clowns 9 out of 10 people didn't even know they were being watched.
@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac