@just1fool: Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?
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@Elizasoul80: [God creating mosquitoes] "I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."
@xoCAMILLAxo: I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!
@shkeeber: *camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* "It was a... shoeishide"
@Contwixt: My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back.