@just1fool: Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?
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@Xoolun: My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious.
@puffin7911: When I say to my kids "sit here and watch cartoons" they hear "come and bug me while I am trying to take naughty pictures for daddy."
@MelvinofYork: My kid told me an “old dead girl” lives in her room and whispers to her at night. I hope they get along cuz I’m never going in there again.
@djdarrellripley: Her: In case you're interested, I'm dying. Me: Then I'll only set one place for dinner.