@Dr_awfulpants: Who decided to call it an English to French dictionary and not a Two - Deux list?
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@briangaar: I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems